Bastard movie full length review - Title makes it sound like an exploitation piece....it's not..
So we have a winner for the most hilarious title of a film this year. A film with that title would have usually been associated with Brian Bosworth, or some old western film starring Charles Bronson, or any actor from that era who would suit the word 'grizzled'....
But this film features newlywed, hitch-hiking serial killers, a brother and sister on the run, and a suicidal, alcoholic cop.
Of course, they get caught in an increasingly bizarre series of murders committed by a masked killer near a mountain-town bed and breakfast....
It's another one of those very deceptive horror films that have numerous 'favourable' review highlights on the cover of the DVD, stating things like 'it's the best retro slasher this week!', or 'scarier than death...literally'.
If you've seen a lot of horror films, especially those that are of a low budget and cost less than £8.00 in your local supermarket, you know that you should take these quotes with a huge pinch of salt and lower your expectations.
But when a film has this title, you cannot help but keep those expectations high, and hope for once, that someone has made a nostalgic reference to those wonderful stalk 'n slash films of the eighties.
This isn't it, and because it's trying to homage so many different films, it gets lost in it's own convolutions.
Every character is suspect, but there are ones who are just that little bit more creepy, having strange traits, or saying inappropriate things so they are obviously red herrings, but it's fun to see the writers of the film think they can fool the viewer.
Aside from the film being quite bizarre for no good reason, it does hold a few things you would associate with those films of the eighties, namely terrible acting and unnecessary nudity.
And that wonderful trope of people going to the wrong place at the wrong time, it's an age old problem that never seems to disappear from lazy writing.
But the ending, while it's supposed to be shocking and turn the narrative on it's head, you kind of guess that this was the case, as there is always the quiet couple who never really stray of the path, but it is quite amazing that the final shot is the rationale for the title.
So all in all, it's just another poorly made horror film, trying to disguise the fact by having the DVD cover look like the cover for 'Hatchet'.
Aside from the audacious ending, and a turn of events once they reach the cabin, it's pretty forgettable stuff.