Emelie movie full length review - Don't waste your time, couple of spoilers but please, avoid wasting 1 second on this garbage.
It seems these days all I do is write reviews trashing movies. If a movie is good, then great, no need to come here and try and help my fellow users warning them to avoid it like the plague.
But in the case of the truly terrible movies which somehow have decent enough reviews and ratings to sucker me in, that I then watch and wish I could get the 2 hours of my life back I feel COMPELLED to come here and give them bad reviews in the hope of convincing others NOT to waste their time.
So on to the the movie, with a couple of spoilers (if indeed it is even possible to spoil something with no twists, turns or tension): Good horror needs somewhat realistic situations, with people doing somewhat realistic things, that we would all do (which then fail, or are thwarted by the villain). Think Nightmare on Elm St from the 1980s. OK the whole thing takes place in a dream, with a long dead killer stalling the kids through their nightmares.
This is utterly unbelievable, but the characters try and survive and battle Freddy in a realistic way. And the more he outsmarts them or the worse things get the more the terror mounts.
SPOILER: None of that happens here. Why does this psycho baby sitter go to all this trouble, when she could have just snatched the kid in the first 2 minutes? She's all busy trying to drug the kids, and playing creepy games with them...WHY? There's no logic or tension at all.
She has a male henchman, who is desperate to be part of her plan, and while he's out stalking the parents so they don't come home from their date unexpectedly she phones him and says "I need more time".
For what?? JUST RUN with the kid! What on earth is this plotting? She gets access to the house and then just hangs out rather than just bolting out of there with the kid she wants under her arm.
This idiot then decides that to give her 'more time' he won't drive as fast as possible back to the house so he can grab her and flee with the stolen kid. Oh no, this guy decides he will *ram his car into the parents as they drive home from their date and die in the ensuing crash*.
Huh? Worst plotting ever. There is no logic, no fear, no real edge of your seat nail biting terror. This movie is a long sequence of the supposed really smart killer babysitter making the absolute worst possible decisions about how to steal the child she is obsessed with because (spoiler alert):
She lost her own child previously. Damn, just grab the kid, jump into your weirdo male accomplice's car and get the hell out of there...Which is what I advise you to do rather than watch this trash - get the hell out of there!
SKIP this movie.
It's also a far too big a role for the lead actress Sarah Bolger, who is cute and very girl next door - she reminds you of about a dozen other young actresses in this mold, nothing unique about her and you could have slotted pretty much an other actress into this role.
Sadly she cannot carry a movie, especially not one as poorly written as this. This is made even more noticeable as the three young kids run rings around her for acting and commitment to the role. They are all great.
Desire to smack the scriptwriters right in the face for the absence of fear and tension in a thriller? Oh that's 10/10 for sure.