I Am the Pretty Thing That Lives in the House movie full length review - Boring "Horror" Movie
This was one of the most boring horror movies I have ever watched! I spent the whole movie waiting for something, anything to happen, and nothing ever did.
First of all, it was quite an ambitious hope that one person with little interaction with anyone else could pull off a full length 90-minute movie all on their own, with only a few voice over narrations to move the story along. Indeed, what story? There was almost no story here, except the back story of "Polly", who is supposed to be the ghost haunting the house. In reality, Polly is nothing more than a made-up character that the owner of the house, and dementia patient that almost never speaks, invented years prior, and in her dementia, has come to believe actually existed and told her the story she wrote about said character. Makes no sense. As far as I could tell from the movie itself, there was no ghost in the house; only the main character's scaredy cat adolescent behavior, jumping at shadows in a big creepy, isolated house.
The main character herself spends half the movie mumbling to herself, and doing everyday tasks that the director seemed to feel needed to be dragged out far too long in a misguided attempt to build suspense or atmosphere or something, but never quite getting there. It just made the scenes feel too long, and the movie feel twice as long as it actually was. A giant snooze fest.
The main character was painful to watch. She was scared of the house she now finds herself in. She's scared of her shadow. She's scared of the old house creaking in the background. She's scared of her reflection in the mirror. There's a scene or two where she attempts to read the book the owner of the house wrote about the character of "Polly" and she literally jumps at nothing. She's too scared to read some words on a piece of paper. The actresses' attempts to pull this movie off with the anxiety riddled twit she portrayed are painful to endure for the entire length of the movie. It was painful to watch. Indeed, the movie as a whole was cringe worthy, and not in a good way as far as horror movies go.
The end literally made no sense. None, whatsoever. The scardy cat twit comes walking down the stairs, because she thinks she hears something, sees the wall panels pulled open, and as she's walking through the house, she doesn't turn on one single light. If you thought you heard someone or something inside your house in the middle of the night (for all intents and purposes, you could call it her house too, she is actually living there as the nurse), wouldn't you be turning on lights and searching the house, instead of just wandering though the dark rooms? Wouldn't that make more sense? No, she just wanders aimlessly through the house in the dark, turns a corner, thinks she sees a ghost and drops dead of fright. WTF? In the very next scene, the wall panels are back on the wall, and her "ghost" sees her own body dead in front of the door. So, she literally scared herself to death over nothing? Really? I honestly don't get why this film rated so high with film critics, but then again, only a film critic could actually like this movie that goes nowhere and tells no tales. This entire movie played like a college film project, rather than a serious attempt at making well thought out, thought provoking, or engaging horror movie of any sort. I won't expect much from future Oz Perkins films, if I even bother watching another one.
For those of you that haven't seen this yet, don't waste your time. I created this account just to write this and try to spare you this 90-minute snooze fest. There are much better atmospheric horror films out there. Give this one a pass.