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Kingsman: The Secret Service tells the story of a super-secret spy organization that recruits an unrefined but promising street kid into the agency's ultra-competitive training program just as a global threat emerges from a twisted tech genius.

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Kingsman: The Secret Service movie full length review - Didn't work for me on any level

I went into this movie with decent hopes given the high rating it had, but it's not like I was over expecting or anything. In the end I found this thing a total a mess.

I think for me it tried to ride too many lines and as a result failed in most aspects. It tried to take itself serious as a spy movie, yet it also tried to be this weird comedy, and while I think movies are capable of doing both, this one just didn't do it well or right to the point where it just bounced me out of the movie completely. Far as it taking itself seriously I found it to be way over the top unbelievable and unrealistic to the point of being stupid. Far as the comedy, I just didn't think the nuclear head explosions or the McDonalds being served on a silver platter was funny at all.

Granted I'm American and I get that English humor is a bit different, but I love Monty Python, Snatch, Mr. Bean, even most of the Bond films. Yet most of the funny moments in this movie I just found remarkably unfunny to the point where rather than it being a quick laugh it just completely bounced me out of the movie. And the few comical moments that were actually funny were already covered in the trailers, so for me this movie totally fell flat on the comedy scale to the point of actually hurting the movie.

Now on the taking itself seriously aspect, the whole spy gig, the young recruit, it just failed on that level for me as well. Certain aspects of the action scenes were done well and some of the bullet time action was good, but I thought the editing needed a lot of work. The massacre in the church I just thought was way over done and too long. I find it amazing in movies like this how fight scenes go on for many minutes and when it's all done, people are barely winded, breathing normally. Give me a break, go watch professional boxers or MMA fighters and see how they look after just one round, and they are real athletes who train vigorously. So while some of the action was okay, it was so over the top that again it bounced me out of the movie. So between the bad comedy and overcooked action I was constantly being reminded that I was watching a movie rather than be swept up into one.

My last beef is with the main kid and the whole "recruitment / training camp". Probably what bounced me out of the movie the most was here we have some reckless rebellious kid who's training to this point has been gymnastics, so okay he's flexible, has good balance, etc... Yet with little to no further training at all he's the biggest bad ass? The recruitment / initiation program was a joke. It wasn't a training program of any kind, it was basically "lets throw these kids in a no win situation and see how the fend and who comes out on top." I get the idea was they were trying to weed through all the recruits to get the best one, but the whole while I kept thinking "So this kid is just a natural born bad ass because he did gymnastics and has daddy issues?" Then once he's out and starts real life spy work he's untouchable and better than all the worlds master assassins. It's like her Mom's bf who bullies him early in the movie, who he confronts in the end, and I'm thinking "So other than being this super spy what has he done to actually improve his skills as a fighter?"

Overall I thought the action was decent, but very over the edge of what you'd consider to be believable "movie believability I mean." The black comedy was pretty flat and did very little in making me laugh or enjoy myself. Finally the believability of this kid taking over for his dad and his quasi predecessor was just absurd. I give it a 3 / 10. One point on principle and because I liked the main spy girl, a 2nd point because some of the action was decent, and a 3rd point for the best part of the movie which was the bare ass scene at the end, which shocked me enough to yell out "HELLO!"