Samurai Cop 2: Deadly Vengeance movie full length review - Detestable! This COMPLETELY lacks the charm of the first film.
Boy did this movie ever sour my mood, where to start..... let's state this fact right from the start, Samurai Cop 2 = Exhibit A for "repulsive modern film-making."
While sitting down and settling in - popcorn at hand, the opening credits begin to roll and you think you're in for an incredibly great bad movie, (LIKE THE FIRST MOVIE!!!) because it's just one bad actor after another, you have the "stars" from the first movie, Joe and Frank, then along for the ride comes, Tommy Wiseau (of, The Room fame), plus Charlie Sheen's uncle as the chief of police, the one the only Joe Estevez.
Probably the biggest mistake is that they barely show the star of the show, Joe Marshall, who's IS in fact THE Samurai Cop, hardly at all (except for a few brief flashback scenes) for what seems like the first 25 minutes of the movie. Big mistake there. The audience is certainly NOT expecting to have to wait for the star, the Samurai Cop, to appear.
There's an innumerable amount things wrong with Samurai Cop 2 (que the rap music yall'!) making for a completely unwatchable, trainwreck of movie. The first Samurai Cop was a lot of fun to watch, NOT SO for the sequel. A cringe-a-minute affair, that sinks to the extreme low's of having pornstars masquerading as actual actors; take Lexi Belle for instance, sure she's cute and may give great head, but her acting skills are non-existent. If she had been relegated to a stripper in the background, with no lines, that would have been acceptable, but she was all over the movie. Bad Move! Oh yeah, and not forgetting Kayden Kross and Zoey Monroe, two other pornstar's who also can not act, their presence further degrades this most odious of direct-to-video excrement. These people need to stay in their own chosen domain of the film industry. Don't get me wrong, I'm not anti-porn at all, but these starlets ought to be more aware of their limitations; because these are the Glowing Result's of them "branching out".
A most disappointing sequel and easily one of the worst ever, possessing NONE of the low-budget charm that the original Samurai Cop (a Masterpiece of the so-bad-it's-good genre) has in near-infinite abundance.
So if movies loaded with illogical scenes (and even some unresolved scenes), terribly cheap looking special-effects, neon-hued color saturation, shaky and uneven camera pans, hideous soundtracks consisting of rap and soft rock "music" and worst of all, brain-dead casting that has pseudo-actor's (I.E. so-called talent that was dredged up from the porn industry) filling nearly every role, well than have at it! Personally I can't hate this gratingly irritating and disgustingly trashy movie enough. Delete your files - burn your DVD's!
Look at it this way, if Samurai Cop 2 were a drink it would be a hell's brew of: raw sewage, curdled goat's milk, vinegar and the pus from a yeast infection, topped off with flakes of smegma and lastly (and to address the movies gaudy, super-saturated color scheme) the contents of a glow-stick swirled into the mix. Thus completing, "Samurai Cop 2 The Drink".
I HATE HATE HATE this movie.
See you at the Razzie's chumps!