Star Trek Beyond movie full length review - An Insult to StarTrek (but at least the light flares are gone)
Another reviewer here called this movie "Fast&Furious in Space". I could not put it better myself. Its IMDb rating is not truthful due to a usual (nowadays) abundance of evidently fake paid reviews.
Our dear JJAbrams, JustinLin (who are obviously not into StarTrek themselves and know nothing about it) are only capable of creating the endless number of the 'shoot 'em up + kung-fu fighting', 'crash! boom! bang!', 'crazy speed chases' kinds of flicks that may be good enough to mildly entertain some brain-dead patients.
There is no spirit of exploration, no real discoveries, no real intellectual or diplomatic challenges, no interesting crew interactions (aside from some trailer-trash-like 'relationships" scenes). People go whining, complaining, drinking heavily, while some turn out to be flamboyantly gay in the overall process. And none of this can advance the plot; it only promotes the stale liberal agenda.
Capt. Kirk is like flat soda, Lt. Spock is constantly emotional, although we do not see this being his Pon farr season (and him having all those breakups and makeups with Uhura), Doc McCoy is always without any medical tools (although the real one seemingly never took them off his shoulder), Lt. Commander Scott is kind of wimpy and cannot be trusted with a boombox. There are so many horridly ugly crew members aboard the Enterprise that it is painful to watch them, especially that lady with what appears to be a built-in "facehugger" from the 'Alien' that comes conveniently integrated into her skull. Gave me the unnecessary creeps.
There are scenes borrowed from previous StarTrek movies (how many flagships do they want to crash-land already?) and from StarWars. Even some sound effects are taken from StarWars! The holographic clones effect and idea is obviously stolen from the original 'Total Recall' movie. What, JJ and JL, no fresh concepts? Anything new in your heads? Nothing? I thought so.
In short, JJAbrams and JL do not know first thing about StarTrek, but they go boldly to destroy all the characters for the sake of making a brainless movie based on special effects.
I don't even want to start complaining about the technical aspects of this atrocity! But I might point out a few here:
1) Why would they transfer, dock, and maintain a space vessel in the immediate, close proximity of the civilians, civilian objects and infrastructure deep inside the space station? Those vessels need to be decontaminated, refueled, rearmed, something can go wrong with them, so then what? What happens to all those people and to their beautiful pond, as well as the space station? This is why them ships are built and serviced in space! Why shove the huge space ship into the guts of the station, if the vessel can be safely docked somewhere outside? Did they need to dock it the same way as they do it with the modern day commercial airliners? See what I'm talking about? JJAbrams clearly lacks any technical and safety knowledge and the StarTrek mentality!
2) How can a dangerous mission be organized on a simple oral request of some unknown alien lady? Especially if this mission would lead the flagship of the Starfleet into a region of space where space crafts systematically go missing, and where is no subspace communications!
3) A "miraculously" discovered, conveniently located CRASHED StarFleet vessel turns out to be fully functional, fueled, space-worthy and battle-ready in no time (apparently within hours) with no visible effort. It beautifully takes off without any testing while being banged around like a solid chunk of vanadium-steel or something and it all turns out just peachy! Then, they crash-land this ship, too. I guess that landings is not their forte after all.
5) There are no safeguards and no security around this vital air processing station or whatever, so no one else but Kirk himself has to go there and stop a raving maniac from planting a destructive device there. How do they keep the entire enormous space station safely in one piece with so many aliens there?
6) The fight scenes are waaaay off any realism scale. People get hit so hard all over, thrown against hard walls and other hard objects, but they wouldn't even squint (even if everyone was heavily on drugs, they would still suffer from physical trauma). This immediately kills any remnants of suspended disbelief leaving only disbelief.
On the positive note, I do believe that poorly made hip-hop music can be THAT destructive. At least they got one thing right.
Also, I sort of liked the looks of Jaylah (the alien engineer/kung-fu fighter lady), but she had not been given a chance to develop her character or to do anything except for walking around and fighting. So, despite of all this criticism, I am giving her one star here, but it is kind of shared with the special effects.
Overall, lots of folks get killed in various horrific ways, vast amounts of hardware get destroyed, nothing is taught, nothing is learned, nothing is discovered, there is no story or character development, and then the endless credits start to roll. This is it. No one seems to care that the genre is supposedly called SCIENCE fiction (meaning, it has to be at least science-like, based on some common and technical sense). The fact that StarTrek is a whole imagined UNIVERSE with a long history of technical concepts, relationships, characters, ideology, internal politics, and so much more, so you just don't go screwing it up, does not seem to bother the creators of this monstrous disaster of a movie!
Dear JJAbrams! Dear Justin Lin! With your total IQs not being equal to the one of a mentally-challenged 2-year old, STOP making movies! Leave StarTrek alone! Get your hands off of SciFi! STOP ruining the great genre for us! You are no directors! You both lack talent, education, common sense and professionalism. Thanks for nothing.