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Shaquille O'Neal as a rapping genie protects a little boy.

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Kazaam movie full length review - A 7 foot tall man is following a kid around the city offering him treats and wishes... see? We're already at problem #1 with this movie

The other day my girlfriends and I were having our pizza night and looking for movies to watch. Kazaam was on demand and I asked if any the girls had seen it, only one of my friends did and I asked if it really was as bad as everyone says it is.

She said she didn't remember since she saw it as a kid so we all decided to go for the bait and see if Kazaam really does deserve one of the worst movies in cinema titles. Oh, yeah, it really does. I could not believe how bad this movie was. Shaq has the acting quality of a wooden shelf, the kid who is supposed to be a hero is actually a brat, the villain of the story looks like a chewed up version of Mario from Super Mario Brothers and the story does not make sense for the child audience it was aimed for. How in the heck is a child supposed to relate to this story of trying to get his pirate music stealing father back with his mother while being stalked by a 7 foot tall grown man offering him free treats and all the presents in the world and OH MY GOD does that not sound so bad?! There are so many things wrong with this movie it drives me insane.

A schoolboy named Max is confronted and chased down by a group of bullies through the city of New Bronslin. Max is chased into the abandoned building, where he discovers a magical boom-box and accidentally unleashes the genie inside. The genie, who introduces himself as Kazaam, tells Max that he is now Max's genie. Max returns home to find that his mother is marrying a fireman. It is revealed that his mother lied to him about his real father's whereabouts, and that he is actually located in the city. Max set out to search for his father in the hopes of rekindling some sort of bond between them. He suddenly encounters Kazaam during his travels, who pesters Max into making a wish. Max eventually finds his father, only to learn that he is a musical talent agent who specializes in pirated music. A employee of the nightclub shows interest in Kazaam upon the realization that he is a genie, and hopes to control Kazaam through Max's father.

Between the awful acting, the terrible script and the lousy effects, this movie is just plain bad. This is how bad this is, Shaq literally slam dunks the villain to defeat him! If that's not a plug in for his career, I don't know what is. The kid Max has no likable qualities, he has a very loving mother and a possible step father who cares for him, yet he acts like a total jerk because he's not getting his way with not having his dad around who is a criminal no less! Even when his criminal father kicks him out of his life, Max still does everything to save him, sick isn't it? Shaq, I don't know the writers were thinking. Maybe that it's so funny that a giant basketball super star should be a genie and it's a great way to make a quick buck for those sucker parents who's kids are begging to see the film. I don't know how to say this other than just say it, it really is as bad as everyone says it is if not worse. Trust me, don't waste your sanity on this horrible movie, Shaq's acting is enough to make you wish this movie never existed in the first place.

1/10