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School is over and summer has begun in the dead-end seaside town of Rainmouth. While Jamie's friends seem to be happy working in the local pie factory by day and looking for sex by night, Jamie is bored out of his mind, running his pot-head mother's B&B. He's desperate to get out of there. But when he meets beautiful, smart and sexy American traveler Juliana at a party, he's smitten - the world is not so small after all. But soon after Juliana's arrival, strange things start happening. One of the local teens goes missing at a party. Then, another. Jamie is warned by an enigmatic stranger that a werewolf is in town - and preying solely on virgin flesh! The only way to be safe seems to be to pop your cherry. (But that can't be true... can it?) As the locals are picked off one by one, the boys fear that a werewolf is indeed after them. And for all their talk, it turns out none of them have ever had sex before... Pretty soon, everyone is dying to get laid.

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Love Bite movie full length review - British comedy at its worst

I went in with low expectations based on the trailers, but I had no idea it could be this bad. At the least I expected some cheeky British-style jokes. Instead it's just the same joke over and over: Sex.

Just in case you're wondering; yes, all the "best" jokes are crammed into the trailer. Sandwiched in between those 4 or 5 decent jokes is an hour and twenty minutes of crude, unintelligent British cinema.

The basic plot outline is that four young lads in a seaside town are trying to have sex. That comprises of 70% of the film. The other 20% and 10% is one of said lads trying to start a romance with a free-spirited American and some nonsense about werewolves, respectively. This film is more about sex and contrived romance than it is about werewolves. There's some scrambling around for several of these lads to lose their virginity, either because they feel inadequate or because it will prevent them from being eaten by a werewolf.

Most of the characters are walking punchlines to dirty jokes; all of them are defined by their libido and sexual activities. We have an incompetent manager whose son runs her business whilst she has casual sex, there's the porky foul-mouthed lass who's desperate for (huge shock) sex, and there's the self-proclaimed alpha male and only non- virgin (that's important apparently) in the group of lads who, I swear, is the most punchable character I've ever seen in UK film or TV on account of his mind-numbing accent and the fact that he's given an over- abundance of lines to showcase it. And yes, those lines are all about sex.

I could go on forever about how unpleasant the film is, but I think that's already clear. I'll try and point out a few positives, where I can:

The portrayal of British teenagers is, for better or worse, spot on. Exaggerated for cinema, yes, but the crudeness and stupidity of the characters is something observable in today's culture.

The romance plot between two of the characters is an "OK" one when compared to other elements of the film. In a more coherent film it would pass for mediocre, though still contrived.

The ending did make me laugh. For a second it almost looked like the ending to a much better comedy. It's a good punchline to an otherwise ugly, drawn-out joke.

In conclusion: This film makes trash like American Pie look dignified and intricate. As a comedy it's too crude to be witty even as a mirror to modern British youth culture, and as a horror it's thoroughly unimpressive and melds clumsily with the teenagers-in-British-seaside- town setting. There is nothing redeemable here. Avoid.